Torcano!

EXT.  FARM - NIGHT

The Torcano blazes through a moonlit cornfield and approaches a farmhouse and barn.  The crops catch fire around the Torcano as they are uprooted and scattered by the awesome winds.

EXT. FARMHOUSE

A RURAL FAMILY runs for the family station wagon as the Torcano bears down on their home.

The rural family gets in the station woman.  The vehicle starts as the home catches fire and is torn apart by the Torcano.

The station wagon begins to creep down the driveway, but it is to late.  The vehicle is lifted off the ground and sucked into the flaming vortex.  The SCREAMS of the rural family rend the night.

NEWS STUDIO

Tina interviews Donald Trivet.

TINA

Tina Olecnowicz here, giving you an up-to-the-minute report on the recent spate of weather that has rocked Maynard County.  We have Donald Trivet in the studio.  Donald, can you perhaps shed some light on what’s going on out there?

TRIVET

What you have here Tina is a rather unusual piece of meteorological phenomena known as a torcano.  An ordinary tornado came into contact with a source of hot magma, in this particular case, Lava Lake, and sucked up the contents.

TINA

That sounds dangerous, Donald.

TRIVET

It’s extremely dangerous.  Image a hurricane holding a machine gun.  It’s something akin to that, but in this particular case the machine gun is loaded with explosive bullets.

A graphic depicting a hurricane holding a machine gun appears.  With exploding bullets, the hurricane fires into a crowd of fleeing cartoon people.

TINA

It seems as if there’s no hope for Maynard County.

TRIVET

It would seem that way.

A graphic appears behind Trivet, demarcating the path of the Torcano.  It is headed toward a poultry farm.

TRIVET (CONT’D)

Fortunately, the torcano is on a collision course with this poultry farm.

TINA

What does that mean?

TRIVET

In the same manner as the incident at Lava Lake, the torcano will suck the feathers right off the birds.  The torcano will be rendered all but harmless once it has been transformed to a feathery funnel cloud.

TINA

Oh thank god.

TRIVET

The only threat it will pose is to the ticklish.

Tina turns to the camera.

TINA

You heard it here first.  The ticklish are advised to stay indoors.