Take Two and Kill Me in the Morning
Life Imitates Commercial Art
EXT. ADVERTISING BUILDING - DAY
Walt, dressed in a suit and tie, leaves work, carrying a briefcase. A BUM approaches him.
BUM
Excuse me, sir? I was wondering if you could help me out.
Walt hurries along.
WALT
I’ve got to pick up my wife from pilates.
BUM
I haven’t eaten in two days.
Walt stops, takes out his wallet, and thrusts a couple of bills into Bum’s hand. Walt hurries off.
BUM (CONT’D)
I really appreciate it, man.
INT. EXAMINATION ROOM
Walt sits on the examination table. DR. DRUMMBANGER, athletic, handsome and in his mid-thirties, stands with a clipboard.
DR. DRUMMBANGER
It’s not a tapeworm, Walt. I can assure you.
WALT
What is it then?
DR. DRUMMBANGER
A simple case of acid reflux.
WALT
So I guess I should avoid the foods that upset me, right?
DR. DRUMMBANGER
No need.
He shakes his prescription pad, then begins to write on it.
INSERT - PRESCRIPTION PAD
Dr. Drummbanger writes illegibly on the prescription blank.
BACK TO SCENE
DR. DRUMMBANGER (CONT’D)
Pop a couple of these babies and you’ll be able to suck down a bowl of molten lead.
He tears the prescription from the pad and gives it to Walt. Walt looks at the prescription paper and looks as if he is about to ask a question.
DR. DRUMMBANGER (CONT’D)
What are you waiting for? Get thee to a pharmacy.
EXT. WILLIAMS HOME - DAY
Walt’s car pulls into the driveway. Walt gets out carrying a bag from the pharmacy.
INT. WILLIAMS HOME
Walt enters. JACOB and SUSIE, Walt and Molly’s young children, run to greet him, yelling simultaneously.
SUSIE
Daddy! Daddy!
JACOB
Daddy! Daddy!
Walt kneels and the children hug him. He musses Jacob’s hair.
WALT
No need to rush. There’s plenty of daddy to go around.
(beat)
Where’s mommy?
SUSIE
She’s upstairs.
JACOB
On the telephone.
BEDROOM
Molly is sitting on the bed, talking on the phone.
MOLLY
(into telephone)
Really? Oh, stop it. You’re terrible . . .
Walt appears in the doorway behind her. She does not notice him.
MOLLY (CONT’D)
(into telephone)
I would say about . . .
(beat)
Twenty-two?
She laughs.
MOLLY (CONT’D)
(into telephone)
You counted? Really?
(beat)
Oh, you’re terrible. Truly you are.
Walt clears his throat. Molly starts.
MOLLY (CONT’D)
(into telephone)
Oh, sorry! You must have the wrong number.
She hangs up abruptly and turns to Walt behind her.
MOLLY (CONT’D)
(sunnily)
Oh, hello sweetheart!
She gets up and throws her arms around him.
MOLLY (CONT’D)
How was your day?
Walt eyes her suspiciously.
WALT
Fine, darling. It was fine.
