Intergaladdict
A Simple-Minded Plan
EXT. OUTER SPACE
A battered old spacecraft, the Quantum Varnish, chugs through the star-scape.
INT. QUANTUM VARNISH
Pem drives. Bran and Jimmy the Squid watch. Lascivious Squonk sits on her shoulder.
PEM
I don’t think this bucket of bolts is going to be able to hold enough Quisp, that is if it even makes it that far.
JIMMY THE SQUID
You don’t think we’re going to fly this thing all the way out there, do you?
BRAN
That was the impression I was under.
JIMMY THE SQUID
No, no, no. What are you, nuts? We need to procure ourselves a far-flying, laser-blasting, missile-launching, screaming, beaming, how’s-your-father, call-your-mother, rough, tough, galaxy-smashing, black-hole-trashing, planet-destroying-machine.
PEM
And where do you think we’re going to find such a ship?
JIMMY THE SQUID
We’re going to steal it.
PEM
Steal it? Who in the universe would have that kind of ship besides the Brombolognian Empire?
JIMMY THE SQUID
That’s precisely where we’re going to steal it from.
BRAN
Oh, Val-Van-Varkheimer!
Lascivious Squonk hops up and down and SQUEALS.
JIMMY THE SQUID
Computer! Set course for the planet Malmauvias.
The ship jerks as the course is altered.
BRAN
I’ve got a bad feeling about this.
JIMMY THE SQUID
Show some courage, man.
PEM
Yeah, sprout some balls.
BRAN
Stealing a ship from the Brombolognian Empire isn’t my idea of balls. It’s more like suicide.
PEM
Will you stop with the quotes already?
EXT. BAD PART OF THE GALAXY
The Quantum Varnish approaches a noxious orange-green planet, Malmauvias.
